The Polite Takeover
by Kye Above
Summary: Crack. America didn't think that Canada was serious about invading and taking over his country until he came around with the official papers. And America can be happy that only two Dunkin' Donuts were destroyed in Canada's quest to convince the States to betray their honorary brother, father and friend. (Dead)
1. The Metaphorical Middle Finger

**Things to know: **

**1 - I know nothing of politics, and little knowledge of legal stuff, so nothing ever mentioned is accurate and isn't meant to be.**

**2 - My characterization is not perfect, so excuse any major and minor mess ups.**

**3 - This story has a slow pace, so it will be very long.**

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It was so not cool being around a guy like Matthew, with his peace loving and gentle nation. If there was one thing Alfred had never seen his brother as, it was violent. He could be a bit aggressive at times, mostly during hockey season, but he was over all polite and weak. Alfred didn't care all that much, as he cared for his brother quite a bit, though he wished Matthew would toughen up. Then he could actually been seen in public with him.

If Alfred was the hero, Matthew was the civilian running through the streets, or hiding in an alleyway, waiting for Alfred to save him. Alfred would always save the defenseless, though the defenseless normally didn't have an axe slung over their shoulder, and a broken hockey stick in their free hand. That was the sight Alfred found when he opened his door.

"Dude! You look like hockey season came twice this year!" It wasn't to say that Matthew looked happier then ever, but that he was looking just a bit wild. More than just a bit really, when the two items he was carrying were taken into account. Alfred looked him over once more, but decided that Matthew had a reasonable and completely Canadian reason for everything.

"America...I need to talk with you." Matthew spoke, shifting his gaze. He swung the axe to his side, and smiled slightly.

"Sure! Come right in!" Alfred had no idea as to what Matthew could want, but it's not like he didn't want to know. Alfred moved out of the door and then out of the front entrance as Matthew entered his house, tossing the broken hockey stick to the floor, but holding the axe closer. "So what do you want to talk about, bro?"

"Well," Matthew chuckled nervously, and looked right at Alfred. Behind his normal 'look', Alfred could see amusement and deviousness in Matthew's eyes. He didn't think much of it. He really should have. "There really isn't much to talk about really. But I do have a few things I need to say." Alfred nodded, not suspecting a thing out of the ordinary.

"I'm all ears! Hey, do you want a burger?" Matthew shook his head. "Well okay. I want one, so I'll be right back!" Not thinking much of what Matthew could do in the time it took for Alfred to get a burger or twenty, the American raced for his kitchen. All Matthew could do was sigh. But then he caught sight of one of the many American flags Alfred kept around the house.

When Alfred returned with his burgers, he came into the room in time to see Matthew finish putting up a Canadian flag in place of his American one. Matthew managed to speak before Alfred, which was quite a fleet.

"It stays America." Matthew said, actually raising his voice, to the point it almost sounded like Alfred's own. Alfred's face darkened, and he walked over to where Canada stood on the couch, complaining as he did.

"It's a Canadian flag! It's all red and maple-leafy. I'm an American, and Americans have American flags!" Alfred swore Matthew actually rolled his eyes at him, but his brother had turned around to grab the bag he had brought with him so Alfred couldn't be sure. Matthew pulled out a stack of papers.

"Officially America, I can put up this flag if I desire." Matthew shoved a burger in Alfred's mouth so he could continue on talking for a few more seconds. "You may not have heard, because it's being kept quiet for now, and your president seemed almost embarrassed when it all ended, but these papers signifly the most important thing in US history this side of the century."

"Then give me them!" He had finished his burger before speaking, like a good American. He quickly placed the plate on the side table, and ripped the papers from Matthew's hands. "By orders of Canadian Prime Minister, Stephen Harper….approved by American President, Barack Obama….The United States of America is now put under Canadian command….WHAT?!"

Alfred was dumbstruck at what he was reading. This had to be some joke that Matthew thought was funny. It must have been pay back for all that he did in the past.

"I'm pleased to say that this command also applies to us. While my Prime Minister and government can work on giving your Americans free healthcare, and setting up better gun laws, I'll have power over you, but I'd never abuse it. So, the flag stays." Matthew looked quite smug.

"Damn..." After checking to see if it was possible the signature belonging to his president was forged or not, and unfortunately he could tell it wasn't, Alfred started to complain again. "I never approved this! Everything important goes through me first. So you can't pull this one on me, Canada!" Matthew wasn't very concerned by this complaint.

"You forget, that you country is known as the United States of America. If I were to somehow get the absolute approval of all your states, and their signatures, I'd be able to bring this all about. As you might have forgotten, I've been here, in your country, for the last few months." If he had one at hand, Matthew probably would have sat down and cracked open a can of Canadian Beer at that moment. "Check the back pages."

Alfred obeyed, still not believing this was happening, but also quite mad that his States, his own family, could have betrayed him. Signing him off to his weak brother?! That was madness. But there he saw, on the back pages, one hundred signatures - The Names of the State, and the States' real names beside them - No one could forge the many different styles so flawlessly.

"How did you do it…?" Matthew had calmed down quite a bit, and his voice was back to being barely above a whisper.

"Bribes, flattery, favours...it really wasn't that hard in the long run. It was Alaska's idea to get the states involved. But I guess I should explain in detail. It all started a few months back, after a world meeting…."

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**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the OCs. All pop-culture referenace, uses of real world names, and other things are used in parody.**


	2. Woes of Being Canada

**Any dialogue in italics in this story is in French, by the way. Quebecois French to be exact.**

**Warnings: An intentional highly annoying OC, the personification of the asshole province Ontario, is present in this chapter. Anyone who can stand him will be rewarded with Prussia.**

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Three Months Before

The trip back from the world meeting was spent in silence. Just like it always was. Matthew was trapped in his own thoughts. It had been another meeting full of ignorance and everyone's egos, and the repetition was really starting to get to him. As he looked out the window of the back seat of his car, he thought to himself.

Matthew thought that it was unfair. He really didn't deserve the ignorance he received from the other countries. And to be mistaken for America so many times was getting beyond annoying. He was his own country, strong and free! Yet the only ones among the other countries who regularly acknowledged him as his own self were Lars, Gilbert, often Francis, and his egoistic brother Alfred. His people, the humans and the provinces and territories, also acknowledged him most of the time, but it just wasn't enough.

He wanted attention, but he didn't want to be a push-over like so many of the other countries, and he didn't want to cause any major trouble, like starting a war, no matter how unexpected it would be. Maybe he could tell everyone, if they actually bothered to listen, which was unlikely, that he was smoking as much weed as Vic Kirkland was. Or he could remind them all that Justin Bieber, Celine Dion and Nickleback were from Canada. As the scenery passed by, he decided he didn't want to be known for either of those.

Eventually he had to accept fact yet again, as the driver of his commute pulled up in front of his house in Ottawa. Kumajirou had fallen asleep on him, and he was careful not to wake up the bear as he pushed open the car door. But this was all in vain, since as soon as he opened the door to his house, loud music blasted out, waking the bear and making Matthew wish he was still at the meeting.

"What…? Bad singing..." Kumajirou grumbled, shifting in Matthew's arm. Matthew took no mind to this, as he was currently using his free hand to hold his face, the only possible alternative to plugging his ears. He was half tempted to drop Kumajirou so he could do so. The lyrics danced around his ears, hurting them. He agreed with Kumajirou. The singing sucked badly.

"Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?" Matthew entered the house, his frown deepening. Kumajirou flipped over in his arms, covering his ears. Since he had better hearing than Matthew, it could only be worse for him. "I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else….Gets me frustrated!" Matthew slammed the door behind him, and the singing and the music stopped suddenly.

Pleased with the outcome as much as Kumajirou was, Matthew bent down and let the bear crawl out of his arms. Kumajirou raced away, intent on finding a good place to continue his nap. Matthew turned his attention to the matter at hand. Drowning away his sorrows. Then someone, the horrible singer, walked into the front entrance, blushing madly.

"You were not meant to hear that." The teen looking man said, also glaring at him. "It's not like I do it regularly. Olivier dared me to...he thought that I couldn't do it! He's stupid, right? And he says that he'd do perfectly fine as his own country! Yeah right; Quebec would never be able to survive without the help of Canada!" He said quickly, and Matthew only caught parts of it.

"Ontario, please. I'm not in the mood." Matthew grumbled, kicking off his footwear, and debating whether he would first go have a nap, or if he would raid the fridge and drown his sorrow in maple syrup. His younger brother smirked a bit, and much of his still remaining blush disappeared.

"While I'm flattered to be called by the name of the most wonderful province in all of Canada, my name is Owen. Please remember for once." Matthew nodded, honestly not caring. He pushed by the other blond, slumping his shoulders. He had decided to sleep. He'd save the syrup for dinner.

"What?" Owen gapped, but not because he was that worried for Matthew, but because of the lack of care he had been given. He pulled his phone out of his front pocket, and resumed his previous conversation. "Olivier, you heard that right? He just outright ignored me!"

"_I don't give a fuck. It's not all about you, you tit. One of the reasons I hoped that I could have become my own country was so I could declare war on you. You're such a piece of shit!" _Owen didn't reply, and waited for Olivier to remember that he seemingly didn't know French and translate it all into English. Olivier caught on quickly, and purposely mistranslated. "He probably has a reason to. Go see if he's alright. If that's possible for you to do." Olivier said bitterly, hating English with a burning passion. Owen smirked, up for the challenge.

"Okay, I will, just to prove that I can! See you later." Owen ended the call just in time to miss Olivier's cry of '_I hope by the Virgin Mary that it's not any time soon!'_

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Matthew was just getting comfy when there was a knock on his bedroom door. He didn't bother to do anything. It was obviously Owen, and he'd let himself in even if Matthew told him to leave him alone. True to his thinking, the blond entered the room, carrying a plate of pancakes. He seemed intent on staying, and not just in Matthew's basement for the rest of his existence.

"Matt, if you don't stop acting like like Alfred's trying to give us back all our embarrassing celebrities, and asking for our maple syrup in return, I'll….eat this plate of pancakes in front of you!" Matthew rolled his eyes and turned over onto his other side.

"Olivier is more terrifying than you, Ontario." Matthew said monotonously, blowing his curl out of his face. Owen nodded in agreement, deciding to let the usage of his province's name slide.

"Yeah, I have nightmares about him too…" He walked over and placed the plate of pancakes on the side table. "If you don't eat these, I'll start to get worried." Actually, he wouldn't. He just needed to sound concerned so Matthew could tell others about it later, thus proving to everyone that he was the best out of all the provinces, since they couldn't see that on their own.

Matthew decided to push all his sorrows onto Owen, hoping he'd go away then.

"I'm sick of the ignorance I receive from almost all the other countries. If they'd just listen, I could help the world with it's problems." Owen realized that he might have been forced to play therapist with Matthew if he didn't get out soon, but the desire to prove Olivier wrong was strong in his mind. "I mean, my people have done so many influential things in the world, yet our connection to it is either forgotten or assumed to be the work of the British or the Americans." Owen was ready to race to the door.

"Look, Matt, you need to stop acting so depressed. Our country is the best in the world. Well, maybe not the best, but we're for sure better than those Americans!" Seriously, Owen wondered, why were they so against free healthcare? Sure it meant slightly higher taxes, but in the long run it was beneficial for everyone.

"Yeah, I guess…" It wasn't very helpful, but at least Owen was trying. Matthew wondered if Owen even realized that he was actually saying something that included the entire country and not just his province. Probably not.

"And if you're so obsessed with getting recognition, why don't you stop dragging your ass and being so polite to keep up with the stereotype, and actually do something that people around the world will remember. Go peacefully invade a country, like The United States, since it's closest. Bet your brother wouldn't expect that. Or maybe you should find a way to turn a meeting into a disaster. Maybe publicly disown connections to our 'dear' Dad…." But Matthew had stopped listening after the first joking suggestion. That actually didn't sound like that bad of an idea. As long as no one got hurt, of course.

But it was still laughable. How could one even invade a country peacefully? It wouldn't be as simple as asking politely, that he knew. What he didn't know was why he was even considering it. It wasn't like he could ask Harper to ask Obama if he would be willing to give them control of The United States. And Alfred would never agree with it.

"Are you even listening? I actually gave you some of my time! Oh whatever…" Owen sighed, and eyed the plate of pancakes. He liked them too, and he hadn't made some for himself. But he didn't want to face the wrath of a depressed syrup addict. "Some of the other provinces, the ones you always have over, are going to be over soon, since I originally wanted them to be here so you could tell them how great I am. But they can probably help you more." And with those final words, he left the room, finally having enough of everything.

Combined with his tangled thoughts of taking over The United States, and his annoyance over having to deal with more of his provinces, but the beautiful smell of the pancakes finally reached Matthew's nose. What he would do about his invisibility could wait. He had pancakes to eat.

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**The provinces most involved in this story are Vic, Liam, Sam and Benjamin, who are British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan and Manitoba, in that order. They'll be part of Matthew's 'army', and the only other provinces other than Ontario and Quebec that will appear in this story outside of mentions, since I don't want to overload much more on OCs then I already have. Sorry to the Canadians from the other provinces.**


	3. Canada's Day Gets A Bit Better

**For those who managed to stick around in spite of Owen, congratulations! Your reward will be Prussia.**

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Despite the fact that everything else about Owen annoyed him to no apparent ends, Matthew had to admit that the self-centered man was quite good at making pancakes. It didn't make up for the fact that he and every Western Province silently hated him, which would be unfortunate if Owen was aware of it. The Atlantic Provinces didn't care all that much, as far as Matthew could tell.

Owen was oblivious to quite a bit of the hate he recived. He was vaguely aware of Olivier's disdain for him, and even that only went as far as thinking that the Quebecois hated every province a little bit ever since the family reunion twenty years before. But Olivier's opinion on the other provinces was mostly a lack of caring after all those years. It was only Owen that Olivier hated with a burning passion. That was the reason Olivier was the founder of the 'Ontario Haters' Club', which met every other week to complain about Owen.

After finishing the pancakes, Matthew felt a bit better, though not enough that he could ignore the cause for his depression. Maple syrup, the only true syrup no matter how much many denied it, always made him feel better inside. He would have had some sooner, but he actually wanted to feel bad about his problem. He normally didn't care about it except for certain times, like he was now. It was starting to get more constant though, and that was depressing him almost as much as the actual problem was.

But obviously, the provinces weren't willing to deal with any of that kind behaviour, as just when Matthew was thinking that it would be best to just sleep off the pain, two familiar people appeared in his doorway, strangely quiet. Too quiet for comfort actually. While Sam was normally quiet, the pitchfork he held in his hand was slightly unnerving, as he normally preferred a rifle. But Liam being as quiet as he was, looking at Matthew with a calculating gaze, was actually more terrifying than Sam, and the farmer boy freaked him out.

"We really hate it when you get depressed, Pa." Sam grumbled, walking towards the bed and sitting down. Liam stayed by the door, a smirk finally making its way onto his face. "Since we always have to com e over and fix Mister Center-of-the-Universe's mistakes in handling it." He added. "So what's the problem this time?" Sam seemed more bitter than normal, but Matthew ignored it, since Sam's mood swings were common. He was about to reply, when Liam decided to speak instead.

"Just ignore him. Saskatchewan is annoyed that he had to cancel his date with his boyfriend Sal to be here." Liam's tone was clearly mocking. Sam stood up defensively, holding the pitchfork in a dangerous way.

"Sal and I aren't anything more than good friends."

"You'd have to be. There's not many people in your province to really talk to, eh?"

"We just hit one million people!"

"Well, I have four million! But your low population is understandable. All there really is in your province is completely flat land and tons of wheat. Who would want to live there? It would be so boring!"

"Benjamin's province is actually even worse than mine when it comes to flatness!"

"Who's Benjamin?"

Matthew watched as the argument continued on, wishing that Liam wasn't blocking the exit. He hated it whenever any of the provinces fought, as it always made him feel sick. Then, there was a hand placed on his shoulder. He looked beside him and saw Benjamin, who seemed to have entered the room when Sam and Liam had. Matthew actually felt bad, since he always complained about his invisibility, but his own son suffered from the same thing.

"I know what's wrong, Matthew. Just forget it, okay? You may not be seen, but that doesn't mean you can't help the world. You're much stronger then you're acting right now. After all, you've put up with Ontario all these years." There was a humourless laugh from both of them.

"Yeah, you're right. But I still wish that I could do something about my invisibility. Or at least stop being confused for America!" Matthew wished Kumajirou was there in the room with him with him. He wanted something to hug.

"Then reverse it. Do something bad, and pin the blame on America." Then Benjamin actually stopped and thought about what he said. "I never thought I'd ever suggest someone do that." Matthew truly laughed that time.

"That's much better than Ontario's suggestions. One of them was actually invading The United States." Benjamin actually looked shocked at this suggestion, but not in a bad way.

"He might actually be onto something. Those American's deserve a wake-up call." Matthew actually giggled at the thought that Owen could be right about something.

"So you're saying that I should actually do it? Harper would never agree to something like that." Benjamin shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't see why you'd have to let Harper know. All you really need to do is get together a small army, maybe just the provinces actually, and get across the border."

"It can't be that easy." Benjamin would have replied, but suddenly there was a loud crash from downstairs, and Benjamin and Matthew's attention was captured by it. Liam and Sam either didn't hear or they didn't care.

"It looks like something's up. Alaska came by with BC, by the way. We better go check what's going on." The two got off of the bed, and walked towards the door, also wanting to get away from Sam and Liam. Benjamin pushed the Albertan out of the way so they could pass, but Liam did not notice. And Liam and Sam's argument had continued on.

"Well, your mother has some of the biggest breasts I've ever seen. That must kill her constantly."

"At least I have a mother."

"That hurt."

"Finally, something."

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Outside the house, Owen was trying to score a goal in his one-on-none hockey game, played on a grassless patch of dirt. He was doing badly, to put it nicely. One has to wonder if his lack of skills reflected his hockey team, or if his hockey team's skills reflected his. It is a question that will probably never be answered, unfortunately.

Since he was too busy trying to actually score a goal, he didn't seem the person peeking out from the bushes. That awesome person watched with devious red eyes, at Owen's complete failure. If Owen knew who was watching him, he would have ran away screaming, as Gilbert Beilschmidt terrified him, since he knew very well that Gilbert was much more awesome then him.

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**None of the portrayals of the Provinces and later States actually reflect their true selves. I'm using stereotypes and my own knowledge, mostly gained from Google, to write them. So don't be offended. **


	4. Alaska Puts Things In Motion

**Warnings: Mentions of possibly shocking sex (Disclaimer: I am not at all responsible for ruining your image of the ones involved.) Then again, this is Hetalia….**

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The sight that greeted Matthew and Benjamin when they entered the living room was a strange one. Very strange. The furniture was everywhere, and in the middle of it all was what appeared to be a child, and Kumajiro. They were clearly fighting. And the child was winning by far. From the other side of the room, Vic watched the scene, carelessly smirking.

"Kuma, I say you should give it up! He's fought bears at least five times your size and won." Vic called out, taking a bite out of the apricot that he taken from the seemingly endless bag of fresh fruit. The semi-silent response to those words was the child, Michael, flinging the polar bear through the air. Matthew dived to catch him, and when he did, he held the bear close.

"Ouch…" Kumajirou complained as the Alaskan boy stood up among the mess, looking much too bored despite the events that had taken place. Kumajirou glared daggers at the State, while all Michael did was roll his eyes.

"I have to fight at least two grown bears every week. You're nothing, baby bear." Michael straightened out his heavy coat, before looking over at Vic. "It's getting boring here. I think it would be best if I went home 'll need to take me." Then he thought of how much more boring it was back at his home in Alaska. It was also lonely."Though I can wait a bit."

"What happened here?" Matthew finally asked, surveying the damage fully. It was a cleanable mess, and nothing was broken, but it was still disappointing. He'd have to clean it up all by himself.

Michael was clearly about to reply, but he was unable to make a sound before Vic started giggling, and the silver haired boy whipped his head to look at the long haired man, though the term 'man' was debatable when it came to Vic Kirkland.

"Shut your mouth, British Columbia." Michael said coldly. It would have been wise to do so, as Michael was not a force to be reckoned with, but obviously, Vic didn't care about that fact, and was very happy to ruin the mood.

"That's not what Timmy said last week!" Vic said with a grin. Looks of horror had appeared on everyone else's face. "He really gets around - hell, he's invaded America's vital regions even! And I can understand why why!" He set off into another fit of giggles.

Benjamin was gagging, holding his stomach, not sure if he would actually throw up. Matthew was blushing, no doubt remembering his own many encounters with the unfortunately addictive man. Michael was the least affected, facepalming at the stupidity of it.

"You Canadians…why are you known for your politeness and good humored attitude?" Michael grumbled, before glancing at Kumajirou again, wondering if there was any point in fighting him again. He at least has something to do. Noticing this, Kumajirou jumped from Matthew's arms and ran out of the room. "Well, there goes that idea." Michael muttered.

"Now...um…what caused the fight?" Canada asked the young state, trying and failing to erase the memory of the previous minutes. Michael giggled, and shrugged his shoulders.

"I was bored and I wanted to fight something. Since Vic smells like cannabis, your bear was the only one available. He seemed almost eager at first..." Matthew nodded, accepting the story. He knew he would have to feed Kumajirou extra later to make up for it. "Now that I think of it," Michael added suddenly, putting a finger to his cheek. "Vic mentioned that you weren't feeling that good emotionally. Have you figured out a way to resolve your problem?"

"Well…." Matthew sighed, thinking it over. "I'm pretty much okay now. But I still haven't figured out a way to get rid of the problem. I don't think I ever will. Manitoba suggested, I believe jokingly, that I do something and pin the blame on America. Saskatchewan and Alberta weren't any help, and Ontario's suggestion was quite stupid in hindsight. Peacefully invade a country...how silly." Matthew would have continued on, but Michael cut in. eyes shining.

"You can invade a country peacefully, actually. Though it's not as much invading as it is asking for ownership over the government." Michael seemed a little too happy to put the takeover of his own country into action.

"But my brother would have to agree! And I know he wouldn't! He's not that stupid that he would sign the documents!" Canada countered, even though he wished it could happen.

"Or is he?" Vic muttered under his breath. No one noticed.

Michael smiled more at Matthew's words. "If you got the States to agree, their consent would overrule America's. I most certainly give you my permission." Not thinking to ponder the Alaskan boy's motivations for giving him the way to put the plan into action, Matthew smirked.

"America would never see it coming…" Benjamin cut in before Matthew's thoughts could go any further.

"But how do we talk to all the states and how would we get all the States to agree? They don't even like each other that much, let alone us!"

"Go on a road trip and hope for the best?" Vic supplied, taking a peach out of his fruit bag. Michael shook his head that the Canadians' incompetencey. "What did I say?" Vic was honestly confused.

"Just phone them all." Michael deadpanned, wondering how that wasn't obvious. Matthew nodded, and he would have reached for his phone (if he could find it in the mess, that is) when Vic scowled and stood up on a fallen couch, trying to make himself seem dramatic.

"Where's your sense of adventure?! We're Canadians! We riot for stupid reasons, and when our hockey teams lose. We have one of the best militaries in the world, though not many people even know we have one. No one suspects us because we're normally so nice, and so unassuming, so most of the rest of the world goes on thinking that Justin Beiber is American. Come one guys! Let's cross the border, get the permission of those States and show those Americans who's boss!"

Benjamin and Matthew looked at each other, before smiling and laughing. They were Canadians, people fro a land that was everything that The United States wasn't. The Americans needed a wake up call and a saviour. That was what they would do. They would save America, even if it meant destroying it from the ground up.

And Michael went to search for Kumajirou.

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**The next chapter is set in the 'Present Day'**

**Timmy is meant to be a joke personification of the Canadian restaurant line Tim Horton's. If he actually existed, he'd totally be in everybody's pants.**


	5. The Problem Is Not Alaska

**This is meant as a set up for another story I'll be writing, called 'When Canada Rules The World', where Canada screws over the rest of the world with America's help. As well, Quebec takes a page out of Canada's book and decided to invade Ontario.**

* * *

When Matthew decided to pause in his story, Alfred knew exactly what he had to do. It wasn't to take his country back by force, or try to beg for it. He knew better than to try and attack Canada ever since the War of 1812. While Arthur had been burning down The White House, Matthew, not wanting to be left out, set fire to Alfred's own house, which Alfred had forgotten about and repressed for the longest time. And heroes most certainly did not beg.

No, he was going to call the person who had caused all this in his eyes, even though it is more rightfully blamed on Owen. Alfred should have known that Michael Jones, or as he often insisted to be called, Mikhail Braginsky, would betray him. While the people of Michael's state didn't hate the rest of the United States, Michael himself always openly expressed his hate for Alfred. Not that Alfred ever noticed this, so the betrayal was a complete surprise.

Alfred realized that he hadn't finished his burgers, since he had been so distracted by Matthew's story. Really, it was so unlike him! He scooped up the plate and raced out of the room to go find a phone, leaving Matthew alone to terrorize Alfred's house. That painting of that eagle would be better replaced with a picture of a polar bear…

It took Alfred a while to find a working phone, but as soon as he found one, you can be sure of the fact that he honestly didn't remember Michael's number. So he spent ten minutes searching for his personal phone book, unable to believe that a hero such as himself could have forgotten such an important number. His logical side, very small and almost always dormant, told him that not many people could remember five numbers, let alone more than fifty. As always, Alfred ignored that voice in his head.

He finally found the phonebook under his X-Box. In all this time, his burgers had gone stone cold, so as they were reheated in the microwave, Alfred searched for the number he wanted, but he was having trouble finding it because he kept getting distracted by other numbers, like the awesome take-out restaurants that he liked to order from. It was making him hungry. It was a good thing that his burgers had finished heating up.

Another ten minutes later was more then enough combined time for Matthew to destroy Alfred's house from the inside, if not set it on fire again. But surely Matthew wasn't that cruel that he'd get the matches out while people were inside. But that didn't mean others weren't. Because Alfred had looked away from the window, he missed seeing Vic tackle Olivier to the ground before he could use a flamethrower on the house.

As to where Olivier had gotten the flamethrower, Matthew wasn't quite sure. But after walking into the kitchen and seeing the scene from the window, he decided he didn't want to know. He did want to know where everyone was, since he liked them in his line of vision. It had been a mistake leaving them all outside while he talked with Alfred. Too late to stop them now, he thought, as Vic ki-

"Found it!" Alfred exclaimed suddenly, breaking Matthew's focus from the window. Determined, Alfred punched in the numbers, and stuck out his tough as he waited for the call to connect. Matthew let his gaze travel back to the window…before looking away once again, a light blush on his face. He could only imagine Arthur and Francis's reactions if they ever saw what he had, because he most certainly didn't want them to actually see them. They would die of shame.

"Dude, seriously not funny. At all." Alfred spoke into the phone. Matthew could hear Michael's laughing, and he could only think of how much it sounded like Ivan's laugh. "Oh come on! Canada was an innocent civilian until you gave him evil powers. Now he's become a villain, maybe even my new arch-nemesis! What's he done that so bad? He took one of my flags down and replaced it with one of his! And he's going to give my country free health care! What could be more evil than that?"

Matthew chose that moment to bring the axe down on the table, annoyed that Alfred insulted his beloved healthcare. Alfred looked at the splintered table with wide eyes, the phone threatening to fall from his hands. Matthew was beginning to feel cocky again, and he almost liked the feeling.

But he knew that he couldn't freak out Alfred too much. He needed his brother on his side if he wanted to complete his new goal. Hopefully Alfred would get over the shock that his brother could be strong and mighty soon, because he knew if happened more, it would get very old and he knew that if it was anybody but him taking over, Alfred wouldn't be acting the way he was. He would have fought hard to protect his country. Sucked to be him.

"Um...yeah." Alfred said awkwardly into the phone. "You really shouldn't have done that! Now I have to be Canada's slave or something." He eyed the lumberjack as he said it. Then his face scrunched up, and he started laughing, presumably over something Michael said. Matthew had no idea what it was, but it must have been amusing enough.

"You are _so _right about that! I'm screwed. But I guess his maple syrup isn't that bad..." Alfred snickered, as Michael carried on speaking, and Matthew really wished he could hear him. All he could do was sit awkwardly and wait. His face falling, he removed the axe from the table and swung it back down on it, this time breaking it, causing the burgers to slide down into the split. Alfred's eyes widened again.

"Michael, I've got to go. You're wrong. I totally hate you. He's insane now." The phone disappeared, and Alfred stood up defensively, facing Matthew. "Seriously, what happened to you, bro? You haven't been this violent since the old days. Why do you even have an axe?" Alfred was starting to look hurt, like many of his dreams had been shattered.

"That can all be explained by a simple thing. Revenge." At Alfred's quizzical look, he added "Not against you. I only have a minor dislike for you." He then picked up the plate of burgers, as none of them had been damaged, and handed them to his brother. "No, while I originally set out to ruin your day, I now need your help. We're going to get back at Arthur for all that crap he's pulled during history."

* * *

**Look out for the story, if you're interested.**


	6. Meanwhile, In Quebec's Dark Mind

**Warnings: **_ This chapter is not at all humorous. It's actually more then a bit depressing **with very strange insanity originally meant to be funny, a little ****angsty BCxQuebec, mentions of death and murder, and a few other bad implications. And Olivier is probably not what you expected Quebec to be like.**_

* * *

Three months before, In Quebec

Olivier had not been having a good day. Though, he hadn't had a good day for a week, ever since the personification of the Tim Horton's restaurant chain had came around for coffee, and boasted about one of his latest exploits. In a fit of rage that was quite unlike him, from his point of view, he'd chased Timmy out with only a fork and accusations of there being nicotine in Tim Horton's coffee as weapons, proving the man to be a weakling at heart.

Olivier wasn't that upset over the news, he told himself. Vic could do whatever he wanted. It wasn't like they were together, or anything. It had been just one stupid, cannabis filled night the summer before. He and Vic were just strange best friends, despite their fathers bad past together. But not even his beloved poutine had brightened his mood the past week. He'd spent it moping and punching walls, because he couldn't admit to himself what Vic saw clearly.

He'd even tried stealthy insulting Owen, texting the jerk and asking him to perform various tasks, like singing to him over the phone so Olivier could record it and post it on the internet and put it out as more proof that Ontarian singers were getting worse. But it hadn't worked, and listening to Owen sing had made him feel sick. He missed the days before Justin Beiber started his music career. Owen hadn't been that bad of a singer until then.

Though that phone call had brought Olivier other thoughts. Matthew was depressed yet again, and he almost felt bad for letting him spend time alone with Owen, who would surely make things worse. That phone call had been an hour ago, and Olivier was beginning to wonder if he should call Matthew to see if he was alright. They may have had a lot of trouble between them due to Matthew's acceptance of the devil's son, Arthur Kirkland, but he still cared for his younger half-brother.

But he had one little problem that arose that day. A problem that the people who knew him well enough had been hiding from him, probably for a good reason. People would call him immature and laugh at him from being mad over such a simple and stupid reason, but the child in him who never got to be truly young was crying inside.

(1) "_Why did they have to make them expressionless puppets? Toupie and Binou are also supposed to be two different sizes, not the same! Binou's smiles at Toupie's playful stupidity were one of the best part of the show. They've totally ruined Binou in general! He's nothing like he was in the cartoon. Oh and the whole point of the original show is gone as well. In the cartoon, the adventures just happened; now they go to them on a bed, or in a BATHTUB?! And not once have I seen Toupie in lady's clothing. That was meant to tell kids that they could do whatever they wanted with themselves and not keep with what society deems correct. I hate this new version, so much. They took out all the fun things about the show! Whoever-" _He stopped when he realized that Céline, one of the few living things he ever talked to often, wasn't listening to him.

The white forever kitten had continued to wash herself as her master ranted about his useless problem, that most certainly didn't concern her. Her master was always complaining about something, so she had eventually just tuned it out. The only real interest she had in him anymore was when he was going to feed her.

"_My god…." _He held his hand in his face, as he realized what had just happened. "_What I am saying? I'll never get to be my own country with this type of behaviour. There are some things that I'm sure Mathieu could understand, but children's shows?" _ He petted Céline, who put up with it simply because it was attention. She didn't like Olivier that much. He didn't like to acknowledge this.

Then his cellphone rang, allowing him to narrowly avoid another bout of insanity. He picked it up and almost thought of ignoring the call when he saw who it was. He didn't want to talk to Vic, and he'd been ignoring all his calls before. But he recalled Matthew, and decided to answer one of the calls for the first time in a week.

(2) "What do you want Victor?" He said through gritted teeth. There was a laugh from the bane of his existence, something that put down Olivier's mood further.

"Olive! This may be a bit much to ask, but could Matthew borrow your car? Yours is the only one that can transport as many people as there are going on our road trip." Olivier's nose scrunched up at the request, caused both by the fact that Vic wanted to borrow his vehicle, and the mention of a road trip. Hadn't Matthew just been depressed?

"Why would I do that? And what is this about a road trip?" He honestly was curious. Surely Matthew hadn't planned something again and decided that he wasn't invited. He'd promised not to do that anymore.

"Well, it's a bit of a funny story. I'll tell you the details when you get here, but we're going on a trip through the US so we can convince the States to give us ownership over the government. I'm mostly in it for the hot guys I could meet along the way." Olivier ignored he last comment, deciding to save himself the pain.

"You act like I'm actually going to Ottawa, which I'm not. I can't 'teleport', as you call it, there with a car, and it's a four and half hour drive. I'm most certainly not going to drive that much just so you can all use it. If you really want to take my car, why don't you, Matthieu and anyone else who's going on your stupid little trip, come here instead?" He didn't have time for this. Not at all. Vic laughed once again.

"Mon chaton, it's not that long of a drive." But Olivier wasn't focused on that anymore. It was what Vic had just called him that set off his anger.

"Don't call me that!" He screamed into the phone. There was silence from the other end for a moment, before Vic collected himself and shook off Olivier's outburst.

"What? I'm calling you 'My Kitten'...I think. Did I use the wrong word, or was it pronounced horribly?" He actually sounded concerned about that, but Olivier didn't care at all.

"I'm not 'your kitten'. Now just leave me alone…" He would have ended the call then, but Vic managed to speak words that stopped him completely.

"It's about Timmy, isn't it?" Vic's voice was clearly laced with regret. "Look, Olivier-Louis, I seriously sorry about that shit. It was a mistake and I was drunk...I think. And if you're going to refuse to help Matthew feel good about himself just because of that, that makes you a bigger jerk than Ontario." Olivier stayed silent, and thought it all over. As well, he wasn't sure what he could even say in reply.

He really was over reacting. That much he could admit then. He was putting his own selfish and childish pique before his little brother. It quickly dawned on him after that he had been hating Vic for what had happened, when he didn't even have his side of the story. But why should he have cared to get it? No one ever asked for his side of anything. That was how it had been throughout history for him.

And finally, the reason why he was so upset about the affair became accepted in his mind.

"Vic, I'm sorry. _I love you so much, despite the fact that you're an idiot and English. _I'm not translating that." Closing his eyes, he leaned back in his chair. "I'll give you my car. And I'll drive it. I still don't see why you all can't come here and then enter the USA."

"Well, Me, Matthew, and Toby, that replacement Manitoba that Matthew produced with that Metis woman after Ontario murdered the original one during that border dispute, decided that we wanted to go to New York. Ontario really wants to as well, since apparently him and the New York guy are good friends. We're also sure Alberta and Saskie will want to too, though they're at each others throats still, so we can't be sure. You can come to, if you want." His happy disposition had returned flawlessly, and he didn't seem concerned with the fact that Olivier refused to translate what he said. Olivier didn't know that Vic had a basic idea of what it meant.

"I'll be over as soon as I can." Olivier said shivering, as Vic had brought back unpleasant memories for him. Symon Williams-Braginskaya and Benjamin Caput were not the original Saskatchewan and Manitoba. The older provinces didn't like them that much because of it. Liam especially didn't like Saskatchewan's replacement, as he and the original had been twins. Olivier didn't like to think of their unfortunate deaths.

"Okay, see you soon." The call would have been ended then if it wasn't for the fact that a loud bang sounded in the background, and screaming following soon after. Olivier couldn't make it out, but Vic clued him in. "It's Ontario. He's screaming about seeing Prussia." After a moments pause, he added. "Actually, maybe you shouldn't come."

Olivier shook his head, even though he knew Vic wouldn't see it.

"I'm still coming. I do not fear Prussia."

"You're a brave man, mon chaton."

* * *

**The story will return to it's regular tone next chapter. I just felt the need to turn this one depressing. **

**_1 - Known as Toopy and Binoo in English. It is a French-Canadian kids show. I've had to watch a lot of it due to having young siblings who enjoy it. Admittedly, I kind of like it myself due to its quirky tone, enough that I was pissed when they came out with Toopy and Binoo: Vroom Vroom Zoom, which did all those changes and more._**

_**2 - The lack of italics is not a mistake. Quebec freely speaks English around BC.**_


	7. Prussia! The Provinces

**This part will be told in two parts 'Prussia! The Provinces' and 'Prussia! The Awesome Countries'. This is so I'll have time to perfect Prussia and Canada's meeting, but still have something posted.**

* * *

"No! Don't go!" Owen cried out, grasping Matthew's leg, as the country prepared to go outside see if the claims of Gilbert being near were true. Tears were streaming down Owen's cheeks, and his eyes were widened in pure terror. If it had been anyone else, Matthew would have shown them pity. But this was Owen Kirk, who was annoying and self centered, with no redeeming qualities that anyone acknowledged. Matthew hadn't really liked him since they were children. "Big Brother, please! He'll take your vital regions. I just know it! And then you'll invite him inside, and I'll have to see him." Having been watching the scene, as any fun person would have, Vic smirked.

"I don't think Matthew would mind that happening. Don't you agree, Toby?" Vic looked down at the much shorter boy beside him, who flinched at the nickname. Benjamin didn't like the name at all. It reminded him that he wasn't the true and original Manitoba personification, and he knew he didn't deserve to be called by the province's name, but it still hurt. Sam fared better, taking the nickname Saskie with ignorance and pride. Ben wished he could be as strong as his little brother.

"Shut it, you hoser." Matthew said, blushing madly. He shook Owen off him, taking the time to heal him in the face, before walking out the open door. Immediately, Owen got up and slammed the door shut, and activated all available locks. He knew very well that it would do little to keep Gilbert out if the white haired man was set on getting in, but he also knew he had to give himself some false sense of hope. As he did this, he sang under his breath, his voice reminiscent of what it was like before Beiber.

"We're fucked, we're fucked. So utterly fucked. I guess we're just out of luck. I wish I knew whose fault it really is. Then I could lock them up, safe and sound..."

Vic laughed at these actions and the stupid song, and even Benjamin couldn't help but crack a smile. He had hated Owen since as long as he could remember. He'd always had this lingering feeling that he was someone to watch out for. But Benjamin could never take him seriously.

Owen turned to look at Vic, still as terrified as before. He let out a strange noise, before rushing over and hugging his other older brother, crying into his chest. Benjamin could only wonder what had happened between Owen and Gilbert, but Vic was enough in the know. It had all started with a bet, and had ended with New Prussia being named. Owen hadn't stated anymore details than that, but Vic assumed that it was because Gilbert some how proved to be more awesome then Owen.

"He just left us two here alone. What if Gilbert gets in?!" Ben was started by the question. He was here as well. It wasn't just Owen and Vic in the front entrance. What was going on? He could have sworn everyone else had seen him, despite that not being normal.

"Well, the trouble duol is still here. And Saskie's got a pitch fork with him and a rifle somewhere. That should at least make Prussia laugh a little." Owen's eyes widened, and his grip on Vic softened. "Go ask him if you can use either. If you can separate him from Alberta." A small smile creeped onto Owen's face, and he nodded, letting go of Vic and racing upstairs.

"Sammy! Can I use your rifle?" Vic shook his head and laughed at the stupidity of his younger brother. He couldn't even work a gun. From what he could tell, Owen had gained none or few of their father's personality traits. He'd even lucked out and avoided the infamous eyebrows, something Vic unfortunately couldn't say about himself. But Vic had something that Arthur obviously didn't. Tweezers.

"Did Owen really say that?" Benjamin asked himself, looking down at his hands, wondering if they'd just disappear on him.

"What are you talking about?"

"He said that there were only you and him here, when I was standing right beside you. I thought I was having a good day, and everyone could see me today. Sam, Dad, and even you, for sure!" Vic placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from going on longer. Vic decided that it was time to tell him.

"I think you've been demoted to a mythical creature, which can only be seen by other special beings who either have the power to see them, or believe in them. I gained the first one from my dear dad, and Saskie and Matthew would obviously know you exist, though I'm sure Matthew's belief is a little shaky at times. Olivier only remembers you because I always remind him. Other than that…" But Benjamin hadn't listened after the first sentence Vic spoke.

"I'm a mythical creature?!"

"Yeah…a lot of people stopped believing that your province existed. Might have something to do with the first Manitoba..."

* * *

Over a hundred years in the past, Winfred, the original Manitoba, shivered. He could feel something on the breeze, but he wasn't quite sure what it was. He looked at his Cree best friend and traveling companion Enkoodabaoo, to see if there were any signs of him noticing it too. But his spiritual friend had continued tending the fire. So Winfred brushed it off as possibly coming down with a cold.

"I hope the meeting tomorrow goes well." WInfred said to Enkoodabaoo, turning the page of his book. "This territory dispute with Ontario has been going on too long."

* * *

"Wank Bandit!"

"Porn Pirate!"

"Douche Cake!"

"Titbox!"

"Puke Coffin!"

"Fifty year old virgin!"

"Now that was just uncalled for."

Sam and Liam would have attacked each other again, if Owen hadn't crashed into the room, looking panicked, but happy. They both wondered briefly what he was up too. "Sammy! Can I use your rifle?" He asked, almost politely. Sam gave him a questioning glance. "Gilbert is lurking around! I need to save myself with something!" Sam and Liam looked at each other for a moment, before they best out laughing together.

"You really think that Saskatchewan would help you? Or that anyone would help you? Go save yourself!" Liam said, having slowed his laughing to a minimum. Sam looked both like he wanted to continue laughing, and also like he wanted to use his pitchfork on the unsuspecting Owen.

"I know of something that can help you, and it has always been there within reach. Your hand." Sam commented with a knowing smile, before high-fiving with Liam. Owen looked briefly at his left hand, blushed, and pulled his sleeve over it.

"Well, you guys are mean!" He growled, but something dawned in his eyes. "Speaking of mean, terrible and so hard to be around, I know just who to call right now! I know I'll receive no help, but at I least I know Jet likes me! Sort of..." He took out his phone and exited the room, and Sam and Liam eventually heard the echo of him speaking. "Hey, Jet! Gilbert is outside my house. It's really freaky. Oh, I know you don't care. No New Yorker does! So anyway, we're coming…" His voice faded, and Sam and Liam started laughing again.

"Seriously, that was a good one! Zeph would have loved that!" Even the thought of his dead brother, who had been killed in a riot decades before, couldn't bring his mood down. Sam was a bit happy that Liam wasn't hating on him at that moment. This was very rare.

"Glad you liked that. Also, that 'fifty year old virgin' comment? That could never be farther from the truth."

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**We should be getting onto the invasion (finally!) within a couple chapters. If you want to see Marijuana User!British Columbia Vs. Border Security, stick around! **

**Prussia will appear next chapter. I've now decided that he and Canada will communicate throughout the story through emails. Those will be fun! **

**Also, is it bad that I'm actually starting to like Ontario a bit? **


	8. Prussia! The Awesome Countries

**Sorry for taking so long to post a new chapter. I was having trouble with Prussia's awesomeness, and I'm pretty sure that I didn't get him anywhere near right.**

* * *

Matthew was pretty sure that Gilbert simply wanted more maple syrup. A small part of him almost regretted getting him addicted to it, but Matthew often pushed aside that thought, as no one could go wrong with pure maple syrup. He was happy that someone shared his love for maple syrup and actually noticed him all the time and didn't confuse him for his brother. Sure, it was a crazy freak like Gilbert Beilschmidt, but Matthew could easily stand it. He himself had been pretty insane in the past.

In hindsight, he realized he should have grabbed some maple syrup before leaving the house, and he knew it was too late, as Owen had bolted the door shut. It was almost amusing to see such a proud person lose all composure in the face of danger, but he knew he shouldn't laugh.

"Gilbert! Where are you hiding?" Matthew called out once he was a distance from the house, scanning the area for his white haired friend. He pretended not to notice the Prussian sneaking up behind him, a twisted grin on his face. Gilbert wrapped his arms around Matthew's neck, and hung off him. Matthew didn't even flinch.

"How's it going, Birdie?" Gilbert asked, before letting go of his syrup dealer, and jumping to face him. Matthew smiled, pushing his glasses up higher on his nose.

"Quite well, actually. I'm going to be taking a trip to The United States with some of my family soon." He wanted to avoid telling him about the true plans, in fear that he'd want to come as well. While he might have been fine with it in any other situation, he didn't want the destruction Gilbert could cause if he joined the invasion to happen.

"And how long is this going to be for?"

"Oh, for however long it takes us to travel to every state and spend some time in each one. And no, you're not allowed to come."

"You're not giving the awesome Prussia a chance to cause chaos? That hurts." Gilbert's tone was teasing though, and Matthew smiled more. "Come on, West kicked me out again! I bet it's because I represent New Prussia now, which is here and not anywhere in Europe." He then laughed, remembering the day that had happened. "So, you got any syrup with you right now?" Matthew shook his head.

"Then we must go get some! The desire for the sweetness that is Maple Syrup cannot be ignored!" Gilbert exclaimed, striking a pose. Matthew laughed and the two started running back to the house, Matthew pointing them to go through the back door instead of trying to break down the front, because Owen didn't think that far ahead.

"You can't beat me! I'll get to there before you can!"

As they neared the house, Matthew slowed his run, quickly out of breath. Gilbert didn't give the courtesy of slowing down, and reached the house long before Matthew, giggling madly. Eventually, Matthew's quick run caused him to catch up.

"How did you convince Ontario to name New Prussia for you anyway?" Matthew asked as he approached the house. "There has to be a pretty good story behind that." He opened the door and they stepped into the kitchen, as Gilbert started speaking proudly.

"I proved that I was much more awesome then Southern Ontario!" Gilbert stated with a grin. Matthew choked on air, before starting to laugh, the joke not going over his head. He knew pretty much every joke there could possibly be about his country, and the phallic one was something he never forgot.

"Oh, that explains quite a bit. I'm definitely telling everyone in the Ontario Haters' Club about this!" Gilbert actually raised an eyebrow at this.

"He's so unawesome that he has a hate club? I should have known." Gilbert started cackling again.

"Yes. It was Olivier's idea. Ontario doesn't suspect a thing. He just thinks that I like the five provinces that are a part of it better than the rest. Which isn't true. I like the Atlantic provinces very much. They just don't see enough of Ontario to really hate him." Matthew reached into the fridge and pulled out some maple syrup, and handed it to Gilbert, not bothering to ask if he wanted it on pancakes. Gilbert was fine with just drinking it from the bottle.

"And the territories...actually, I'm not that sure about them. I haven't heard from them since North West Territories sent me a letter announcing Nunavut's birth." Matthew blinked a few times and looked directly at Gilbert, frowning and his eyes wide. "I should probably check one of these days and see whether they're still around."

"Now that's what I call good parenting!" Gilbert commented before taking another drink from the bottle. Matthew scowled.

"They're not my kids. Only the current Saskatchewan and Manitoba are mine. Everyone else is a honorary sibling or a good friend. I'm not really sure of any of the details though. It's actually quite confusing." Matthew admitted, rubbing the back of his head. Gilbert finished the bottle of maple syrup, and tossed it onto the table.

"Awesome. Kids are annoying. Except me when I was young. I was so cute!" Matthew wasn't quite sure that what Gilbert said was true. Matthew imagined that he wasn't.

"I bet you were actually really ugly and you're trying to make it seem like you weren't!" The two looked towards the source of the familiar voice. Owen stood at the entrance of the kitchen, holding his hockey stick in a defensive position. Gilbert smirked, but this didn't distract Owen from his goal in mind, despite doing so in the past.

"Get out. Or I'll show you who the real awesome person is. And it won't be you." And he charged at Gilbert.

* * *

**This chapter was not as awesome as it should have been! I'm very sorry to disappoint.**

**To those that actually read author's notes, I'm taking a break from this story for at least a month or three due to a constant lack of readers and feedback, so I can work on two other stories; my Death Note story Wammy's House Post-Room and another future Hetalia story. Sorry if you were hoping for a quick update.**


	9. Notice to Readers

I'll start by saying that this is not Kye Above writing this notice.

I hate to be the one to tell you all the news (well not really. I honestly don't care about any of this.), but Kye has lost all interest in this story. Her interest in it is so low, that she didn't even care enough to put up a notice announcing it herself, leaving the stupid task to me under threat of telling everyone at school about a stupid thing I did this summer. For a person who hates the idea of gossiping, she seems quite eager to do it.

Anyways, she says the reason she's quitting is because she just couldn't work with the plot she had set out. Knowing her unfortunately well, I believe that tale is a load of crap, and that she's really just a review glutton, or as she might describe it to justify it "Actually knowing what people think of the story." She's a hypocrite though, as I looked at her account information when she allowed me on here, and she's written a total of 93 reviews. I'm pretty sure she's read much more stories then that.

For those people who still think she might come back eventually, she said she's going to try to work more on a story known as Wammy's House Post-Room, a story that she really hates and if it was human, she would violently murder it (no exaggerations there. Trust me. In real life she's the most terrifying and violent person to be around. Always smiling though...), but she doesn't quit it for long because she likes toying with and manipulating the characters. If she'd rather write that, or, Kira forbid, her (clearly gay romance) novel, over this, it's clear to me that she's not coming back.

I'm guessing that any attempts to get her to continue will just be laughed at, like she laughed like a madman while being dragged to the school office probably every other week since grade 3 for things like swearing, disrespect towards teachers, and a whole lot of other things that makes me wonder how she can sometimes make sense. Or maybe she'll laugh like she does when she's drowning ants in the pool, calling them nonsense names before flicking them into the water and some how keeping track of which ones die.

This is getting too damn long. I now end this notice, without a real care for this story, and only wanting Kye to stop acting like I'm going to break her beloved computer.  
~ Len M.

PS: If you're crazy enough to try and PM her about the story, don't mention anything of what I said. I value the fact that I can still produce children, if I wanted to.


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